Posted by: kenziekat | January 29, 2010

Kenzie, the Crack Head Cat.

So, I’ll admit. I haven’t been giving Kenzie the attention she is accustomed to this week. It’s not her fault I work 25-30 hours and am in class the rest of my life. Plus, the boyfriend deserves at least some time. Regardless, I think the lack of attention has set Kenziekat over the EDGE.

For example, yesterday I came home from work and she looked what I envision a cat on crack would look like. Somehow, she had managed to get the stickers off of my new bar stools (fabulous leather ones) and on her tail in various places.

Even more, her not very old pink and purple rhinestone collar was stretched to the max and hanging on her like a gangster chain. AND most of the rhinestones had fallen out.

I wish I had a picture of her stickered tail gangster collared moment.

She was also sprinting around the apartment acting as if a monstrous dog was chasing her; she even tried to climb the door frame like a tree (and failing miserably due to her rubber pink fake nails).

She wouldn’t even fetch.

Tonight, Kenzie will not get adequate attention yet again due to the fact I have to go watch the boyfriend attempt to win a toughman contest, which is a barbaric event in which redneck men try to box. My New Jersey boyfriend is going to be so out of place.

I’m scared to see what Kenzie will look like when I get home.

I think I may try to take the collar back to the pet store. It was fifteen dollars and shouldn’t have stretched out so easily, even if my cat did have a psycho moment. I did find this amazing cat site with even BETTER rhinestone collars. I’ll be ordering soon! I particularly like the hello kitty one (I’ll have to tell you about my hello kitty addiction in a later post).

cat tip of the day: do NOT try to pull stickers directly off your cat’s tail. she will bite you. cut the hair underneath the sticker first. yes, your cat’s tail will look temporarily stupid.



  1. hahaha wow. I want to see your cat doing an gangsta leannnnn.

    I also appreciated the cat tip. I do not own cats, but I think I would have went straight for the pull first.

    PS, Have you heard of Maru or Linus? (definitely worth following through RSS.) (this cat is glorious.)

    • I have not heard of Maru or Linus until now, but they’re quite fabulous! Thanks for the links Definitely very amusing!

      Thanks for reading!

  2. Maru is awesome, as Paden posted for you. Kenzie and Maru would probably be great friends.

    I’m so sorry that Kenzie destroyed her collar, in addition to tearing the stickers off of your bar stools. They are (were) really nice.

    Sounds like the only answer to your Kenzie dysfunction is to bring her over to hang out at my house and rabble rouse with the animals there.

  3. omg you had me laughing out loud for real! LOL.

    • as did you! thanks for reading!

  4. i have to input on my animal craziness. i do not have a cat… however i have a neurotic dog named Merlot, (mutt)

    i have been having the same, no time to play, issues.

    Due to Spring Break coming up i NEEED money so i have been at work any chance i can get, in addition, school doesn’t help in the free time department.

    so naturally merlot is bored out of her mind all day,

    now Merlot is not your average toy chiwawa she is a 45 pound ball of black and brown fur , so when i actually return home from, ( work, class, ect) she goes ( exuse my language) ape-shit,

    jumping/scratching/pawing my face/ neck/legs…( i have bruises) running in circles, chasing her tail ( APE-SHIT)

    then she gets too excited and “accidentally” barfs all over my stylish giraffe print rug… which has now been in the washer 4 times this week.
    ( i say accidentally because i think she does this on purpose for her own amusement, to see me attempt to scootch her outside without actually touching her as she dry heaves) graphic sorry.

    i love the little girl to death and feel very sorry that i have to leave her to her own devises all day long 😦

    if i was more confident that Merlot wouldn’t eat Kenzie i would suggest a play date… but not so sure that’s safe haha

    ps. i love your blog, always super funny

  5. I live with Merlot too, she is Julia’s pup, but we all share a household with two other roommates, the occasional foster dog and two tiny frogs (which I purchased on a whim as a 21st birthday present for one of the roommates) , but I do have to agree with the attention conversation that is going on. I mean Merlot used to hate me, dispise me, even twinkle out of fear when I came in her path. I ‘m not really sure why this is, I was always nice to her, but now that Julia doesn’t have much time for her she looks to me for the attention she is lacking. Well I guess that’s not total truth I did have to bribe her with treats to come near me, but I think our relationship is growing. =)

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